Category self awareness

The answer to how …

The work I do with leaders is not easy, nor is it for the faint of heart. One common question I hear, especially when leaders are struggling to hold others accountable or to change how they and their organizations work, is “How? How do I do this?”

It’s a seductive question and one I typically reframe within a larger context. I learned a lot from a master at doing this: author and consulting expert Peter Block. Check out his book The Answer to How Is Yes: Acting on What Matters.

Here’s a taste to whet your appetite.

There is something in the persistent question How? that expresses each person’s struggle between having confidence in their capacity to live a life of purpose and yielding to the daily demands of being practical. … My premise is that this culture, and we as members of it, have yielded too easily to what is doable and practical and popular. In the process we have sacrificed the pursuit of what is in our hearts.

Disconfirming evidence

 

 One of my clients recently attended a course urging him to listen for and be attentive to “disconfirming information.” He was struck by that phrase, probably because the head of his organization operates at the other end of the continuum: she only wants to hear evidence that supports her current point of view.

I first learned about disconfirming evidence from Meg Wheatley, author of Leadership and the New Science, who talks about how living systems grow and change as a result of disequilibrium, not equilibrium. Think about it. When are you more likely to grow: when everything you encounter is just mirroring what you already know, like the woman my client reports to, or when something new and different drops into your world?

A guide by my side …

Last weekend, my son Michael introduced me to a couple of online games. Since he’s a world-class gamer and we’ve talked a lot about the leadership lessons in gaming, I gave it a try.

What a come-uppance! I’m a pretty smart bear … but I fell down the hole of my incompetence as soon as he handed me the control piece.

These games are puzzles that cast you into the middle of a strange world with no idea of what’s happening and no clue as to the purpose or rules of the game. So why play them? He says because they teach your brain a different way of thinking about your surroundings. I say because they can teach you a lot about yourself.

Rage, rage against the dying of the flight

I was stuck in Chicago at O’Hare Airport one holiday season, along with thousands of other travelers.   We’d been delayed several hours by a fierce snowstorm blowing in from the plains, and then got word that several flights were cancelled.  People were up in arms.  The airline agents were stressed, passengers were starting to shout, and the whole mood of the place was turning black.  It was the closest I’d seen to mob mentality in years, and I was getting scared. In the midst of the shouting and fist shaking, a young gate agent walked from behind the counter, climbed onto a seat, and raised her arms in an outstretched Y.  She didn’t say a word.  She simply stood, motionless, with a relaxed look on her face.  It took two minutes, but the shouting began to subside.  One by one, people turned their attention to her.

Who stole my quick response?

One of my clients was lamenting that she wasn’t what she calls a “fast thinker.”  “People who think quickly, like my boss,” she said, “generally get the better of me in any argument because I can’t think quickly enough to counter when I need to.”  She heaved a deep sigh and added, “Got a pill for that?  Or a book I can read?”