Last Friday, one of my clients had a meeting with several of her direct reports that left her feeling “absolutely giddy” afterwards. Her words were music to my ears. She’d been feeling overwhelmed and out of control for months. And here she was, excited and confident and energized.
What made the difference?
I have lots of stories about that. Here’s the one I like best: she got control by giving up control.
When I start coaching engagements, new clients almost always have a short list of problems to fix. It’s a normal response. We’re wired [both biological and psychological] to sort for the negative.
And every time our mind attends to the negative, we do something else: we strengthen the brain’s tendency to sort for the negative!
Researchers call it neuroplasticity: the brain’s capacity to change and adapt its
There’s a whole field of attention studies illustrating that what we see and what we perceive are different things. Sight is governed by one set of structures in the brain, and perception by another. So we actually see far more than we perceive or are cognitively aware of. [For an example, check out the YouTube observation test .]
What happens is that part of the brain is only responsible for processing what enters our visual cortex; that’s all it does. And another part of the brain is busy
On 22 September, a group of Italian scientists reportedly broke the speed of light. They were measuring a beam of neutrinos sent from Geneva, over 500 miles away. The science is way too complicated for me. But the notion that this effort may overturn one of our most fundamental “laws” of physics fascinates me. Astrophysicist Adam Frank says that what’s being challenged here is “the structure of causality in the Universe” because it’s based on “an absolute cosmic speed limit.”
We’ve heard for a century-plus that nothing can travel faster than the speed of light. Our experience and all of our learning are based on the notion of time as linear. And if that turns out to be a faulty assumption,
Check out Peter Bregman’s story about watching 77-year-old Marvin Moster at a local gym in NYC. Moster’s energy and “sunny outlook” led Bregman to take this photo and write a wonderful blurb about being inspired by the acts of ordinary people … and about paying attention to what we pay attention to.
Notice especially how aware he is of his own lack of knowledge about Marvin and others he has met. As he says, “I can’t honestly say that the inspiration isn’t more about me than it is about them.”
What’s the last of the Top 10 Mistakes in Behavior Change? Assuming that behavior change is difficult.
What’s the tech lab’s last great suggestion? Behavior change is not so hard when you have the right process.
What’s my last hurrah? It’s also not so hard when you have the right state of mind.
Near the end of the Top 10 Mistakes in Behavior Change list is #9: seeking to change a behavior forever, not for a short time. As you might expect, Fogg & gang suggest that a fixed period works better than “forever.”
Number 9 takes us back to now, the only time frame we have. As soon as we think we can change behavior tomorrow, we’re out of the world of action and into the world of fiction. We can only change behavior right now.
Top mistake #8 at the Persuasive Tech Lab is focusing on abstract goals more than concrete behaviors. Here’s their example. Abstract: get in shape. Concrete: walk 15 min. today.
This is a “yes and” provision. We need big abstract goals to provide direction and meaning: get in shape, write the Great American Novel, create and implement
Here’s top mistake #7 in behavior change: believing that information leads to action. Again, the lab techies offer an observation rather than a ‘solution’: we humans aren’t so rational.
Hear, hear! Information may give us a leg up on knowing about something. But knowing and doing aren’t the same. We know far more than we’re able to translate into action, especially consistent action, which is what change is really about.
Besides, reason doesn’t make us act. Emotion does. Reason just makes us think. Doubt it? Then check out neuroscientist Antonio Damasio’s book, Descartes’ Error.
Top mistake #6 is underestimating the power of triggers. Fogg and company don’t offer a solution; they just offer an observation: no behavior happens without a trigger.
To which I say, “Yes, ditto.” Even if you’re unaware of them, triggers are setting your behavior in motion. Befriend them and you might find change a tad easier.