That’s the title of a great new book by Susan Cain. It’s subtitled “The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking” and it profiles the many ways in which we undervalue introversion. It also points up what we lose in the process.
She talks about introversion in both personal and professional domains. I was especially drawn to her debunking of some of our most sacred leadership cows, like the myth of charismatic leadership. Introverts
I was coaching a senior executive who was second-in-command in a large organization but acted like low person on the totem. It was costing her greatly in terms of credibility, effectiveness, and self esteem.
One day when she was struggling particularly hard, I told her this story. A few days earlier, my son Michael and I were weeding my mother’s garden. Michael was working under some shrubs when he grabbed my arm and said, “Hey, Mom, look!”
All I saw was dirt and dead leaves.
For years, we’ve read about the struggles of women in climbing the corporate ladder and reaching the top. Much has been written about why it occurs and what we can do about it. I offer a different view, namely that the whole notion of a career ladder is an assumption – a mythology – that can limit who and how we are in organizations.
When we assume that a ladder exists and that it’s the path to success – when we treat these assumptions as “truths” about “the way it is” — we can easily mistake ladder-climbing as our journey and a top rung
My son Michael is in town for a visit, so gaming’s back in the conversation. When he’s riding the train in New York, he occasionally plays a game called Jewels. It starts with a screen full of colored shapes, like the one at left. When you match 3 or more, they disappear and new shapes drop down on the screen. He was consistently scoring 3000 to 4000 per game, and wanted to get better. Practice is the usual road to mastery, but Michael tried something else, with remarkable results.
I had a situation arise recently that reminded me, once again, of the power of trusting what we cannot see. Last fall, I talked with a woman about collaborating with her and several other coaches on an executive development project. I was interested and let her know. I heard nothing for 5 months. Then last week she emailed to say the project was ready to start, and was I still interested?
The brilliant wisdom of my clients never ceases to delight me. The other day a client told me of an image a friend gave her long ago. When you’re feeling overwhelmed and like you’re drowning, the prayer is to help me breathe underwater. Rather than resist, be present to whatever you’re surrounded by.
This week I was listening to an old CD by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He offered a list of “symptoms of inner peace” from Peace Pilgrim, a pacifist and peace activist who walked across the U.S. 28 times. It’s an interesting turn of phrase: symptoms of inner peace. When I heard it, I discovered that I have a lot of “inner peace.” What about you? Here they are.
A tendency to think and act spontaneously
Our work – our lives – are built on and steeped in storytelling. It’s how we make sense of things, how we fill in the blanks to create meaning out of moments and commitment in the midst of chaos [remember Tom Hanks’ character in Saving Private Ryan?].
Of course, at work we don’t call it storytelling. We dress it up in professional language, like ‘case study’ or ‘discussion’ or just plain
At noon, I walked into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. A front was coming through and the winds were gusting to 30 or 35 mph. I glanced at the thistle feeder. This time of year, an occasional chickadee shows up, but the heavy traffic is at the feeders with millet, sunflower, and suet. Today, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The other feeders were empty. But at the thistle feeder were not one or two…
We live in the “Just do it!” society. Emotions aren’t something we’ve been taught to attend to and talk about. When I was in grad school, emotions were categorized in simple terms, as primary [anger, fear, anxiety] or secondary [guilt, shame]. In the late 20th C, positive psychologists ushered in a broader lexicon: wonder, awe, serenity, amusement, gratitude.
Today I came across something I wish I’d considered years ago. It’s from novelist Jeffrey Eugenides’ novel Middlesex. It sure works for me. What about for you?