{"id":764,"date":"2012-02-06T15:20:24","date_gmt":"2012-02-06T20:20:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ohe.5c7.myftpupload.com\/?p=764"},"modified":"2012-02-13T09:28:32","modified_gmt":"2012-02-13T14:28:32","slug":"the-dropped-appointment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/?p=764","title":{"rendered":"The dropped appointment"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Several days ago, I awoke about 4 a.m. with a gnawing feeling that I’d missed a client appointment. I got up, went to my electronic calendar, and discovered I HAD missed an appointment. The client\u00a0 requested a schedule change, I said okay, and then didn’t make the change on the calendar. I felt terrible about it, and sent a note of apology to the client.<\/p>\n

That evening, I told my partner Duff about it. “That’s why I always use a good, old-fashioned paper-and-pencil calendar,” he said. “Nothing drops through the cracks.” I was quick with a comeback. <\/p>\n

“My calendar works just fine. I rarely miss an appointment. This was just an unusual circumstance.”<\/p>\n

I didn’t hear the defensive tone, but Duff sure did. “Hey,” he said. “That wasn’t an accusation. Just an observation.” He looked at me with a wry smile. Usually this conversation unfolded in the other direction: I’m the one making observations and he’s the one going on the defense.<\/p>\n

I took a deep breath and stepped back from myself. I felt terrible about missing the appointment. I was\u00a0 focused on the negative. So when he made a simple statement about preferring paper calendars, I was primed to hear, “And if you tracked appointments MY way, you wouldn’t SCREW UP like this” between the lines.<\/p>\n

He said nothing of the kind, but in that moment, that’s what I heard. The judgments and accusations were mine, not his.<\/p>\n

Unless we’re aware of what’s going on internally and can re-ground ourselves, we’re suckers for anything flying at us that mirrors what we’re already feeling. Fortunately, that evening I had Duff to remind me.<\/p>\n

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Several days ago, I awoke about 4 a.m. with a gnawing feeling that I’d missed a client appointment. I got up, went to my electronic calendar, and discovered I HAD missed an appointment. The client\u00a0 requested a schedule change, I said okay, and then didn’t make the change on the calendar. I felt terrible about…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,18,20,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-764","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-leading","category-mindfulness","category-neuroscience","category-self-awareness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/764","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=764"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/764\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":782,"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/764\/revisions\/782"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=764"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=764"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=764"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}