{"id":36,"date":"2011-03-01T20:13:39","date_gmt":"2011-03-02T01:13:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ohe.5c7.myftpupload.com\/?p=36"},"modified":"2011-06-06T05:59:53","modified_gmt":"2011-06-06T09:59:53","slug":"who-stole-my-quick-response","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/?p=36","title":{"rendered":"Who stole my quick response?"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of my clients was lamenting that she wasn\u2019t what she calls a \u201cfast thinker.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cPeople who think quickly, like my boss,\u201d she said, \u201cgenerally get the better of me in any argument because I can’t think quickly enough to counter when I need to.\u201d\u00a0 She heaved a deep sigh and added, \u201cGot a pill for that?\u00a0 Or a book I can read?”<\/p>\n

Actually, she\u2019s very quick, witty, and articulate — when she\u2019s relaxed, comfortable, and not feeling threatened.\u00a0 But when the stakes rise, she falls into a scenario that goes something like this.\u00a0 See if it sounds familiar.<\/p>\n

When a conversation starts to feel adversarial, she\u2019s hit with a flood of vague reactions and background thoughts about what\u2019s coming next.\u00a0 Like most of us, she\u2019s barely [if even] aware of them.\u00a0 But they\u2019re enough to set off a physical response.<\/p>\n

Her body pumps stress hormones into her blood stream.\u00a0 She starts feeling nervous, which sets off more internal talk and anxiety.\u00a0 She can\u2019t focus or think clearly.\u00a0 Words lose their meaning.\u00a0 What tumbles out of her mouth is less than optimal — which throws more stress hormones her way.\u00a0 She\u2019s wired, but she can\u2019t think her way out of a paper bag.<\/p>\n

When the cortisol subsides and her thinking brain is back in control, her wit and wisdom are again at her beck and call.<\/p>\n

Sound familiar?\u00a0 It happens to a lot of us. The good news is that this reaction has nothing to do with our capacity to think<\/em> quickly.\u00a0 It’s tied to those autopilot tapes and the autonomic responses they trigger.\u00a0 So to be clear, calm, and articulate, we need to expand our awareness of when the process is starting and how we raise the stakes on ourselves.<\/p>\n

We can start at any of three points — mental, physical, or emotional \u2013 by observing what\u2019s going on internally, writing it down right away, and using it to increase our awareness.\u00a0 Being more aware doesn\u2019t make the anxiety or inner critic go away.\u00a0 But it gives us a heads up so that we can catch those vague reactions earlier and say to ourselves, \u201cAh, there it is again.\u00a0 What is it telling me about this situation?\u201d<\/p>\n

The sheer act of learning to be present, to simply witness what is,<\/em> gives us a choice.\u00a0 Now we\u2019ve created a breather, a chance to stay grounded in the moment and to acknowledge and let go of the judgment that\u2019s altering the stakes.\u00a0 Inhale slowly, exhale the judgment, and see if your wit and wisdom don\u2019t return.<\/p>\n

Coaching tips<\/p>\n