{"id":204,"date":"2011-04-13T06:34:50","date_gmt":"2011-04-13T10:34:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ohe.5c7.myftpupload.com\/?p=204"},"modified":"2011-10-14T23:57:20","modified_gmt":"2011-10-15T03:57:20","slug":"rage-rage-against-the-dying-of-the-flight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inourrightmind.com\/?p=204","title":{"rendered":"Rage, rage against the dying of the flight"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a> I was stuck in Chicago at O\u2019Hare Airport one holiday season, along with thousands of other travelers.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019d been delayed several hours by a fierce snowstorm blowing in from the plains, and then got word that several flights were cancelled.\u00a0 People were up in arms.\u00a0 The airline agents were stressed, passengers were starting to shout, and the whole mood of the place was turning black.\u00a0 It was the closest I\u2019d seen to mob mentality in years, and I was getting scared. In the midst of the shouting and fist shaking, a young gate agent walked from behind the counter, climbed onto a seat, and raised her arms in an outstretched Y.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t say a word.\u00a0 She simply stood, motionless, with a relaxed look on her face.\u00a0 It took two minutes, but the shouting began to subside.\u00a0 One by one, people turned their attention to her. When she could be heard without yelling, she began to speak.\u00a0 Slowly and deliberately.\u00a0 She acknowledged people\u2019s anger, and outlined the situation.\u00a0 She emphasized calmly yet firmly that the decisions to cancel flights were based on the desire to get everyone home to their loved ones safely, and that flying in this kind of weather was a sure formula for disaster.<\/p>\n

Within minutes, people were returning to their seats, phoning their loved ones, and making alternative plans. I can still picture her, a tiny thing scarcely out of adolescence who took command of hundreds.<\/p>\n

What led her to avert disaster that night?\u00a0 A level of emotional<\/em> intelligence far beyond her years.\u00a0 Here\u2019s how I think she accomplished it. First, she had biology working for her \u2013 literally.\u00a0 She got the crowd\u2019s attention by staying still in a storm that was rapidly gaining strength.<\/p>\n

We know from brain imaging studies that highly resilient, adaptable people have brains that start calming them almost immediately after they\u2019ve been exposed to a stressor.\u00a0 Less resilient people don\u2019t have that kind of control.\u00a0 They continue to get stressed, sometimes even after the stressor is gone. We can practice<\/em> and train<\/em> our selves to stay cool in hot times. We can learn<\/em> to self manage.<\/p>\n

This young woman also had emotion working for her.\u00a0 She used her own emotional barometer to sense the intensity of the crowd\u2019s anger and the need for swift and careful action.\u00a0 She then used her own composure to manage and diffuse their anger.<\/p>\n

She created what psychologists call emotional contagion<\/span>: we \u201ccatch\u201d the powerful emotion of those around us.\u00a0 Had she shouted or shown signs of frustration and anger, she wouldn\u2019t have been nearly as effective.\u00a0 Most people don\u2019t like losing control. When she created an island of composure in the midst of the storm, she became a beacon. It worked. People were pulled to her.<\/p>\n

Finally, she knew that trying to reason with an angry crowd is akin to dousing a bonfire with teacups.\u00a0 It\u2019s futile.\u00a0 So she mediated their anger by tapping into a more powerful emotional base: their desire to live,<\/em> to survive<\/em>, to be with their loved ones. <\/em>And, again, it worked.<\/p>\n

This type of behavior can\u2019t be taught.\u00a0 Sure, you can learn formulas for what to say or do in tough situations.\u00a0 But the wisdom of her behavior didn\u2019t come from a book or a course.\u00a0 It came from deep within her, an intuitive knowing.\u00a0 And it illustrates beautifully how one person high on emotional intelligence can influence an entire crowd. How can you cultivate this kind of wisdom and influence?<\/p>\n