Category emotion

One more

The Layers

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.

A new life

“I can hardly wait for tomorrow, it means a new life for me each and every day.”

Thank you, Stanley Kunitz (1905-2006)

A reminder

“It is the stepping into the unknown, again and again, with our heart facing the direction that we value, that matters.” Jack Kornfield, writer, psychologist, Buddhist monk.

Sounds simple. Straightforward. Oh, that it were.

What direction is your heart facing right now?

The universe is always whispering

Six months ago, I signed on for a new group coaching project. Since then, I’ve been waiting for the organizers to launch it. In early May, we had a flurry of email exchanges, followed by some phone calls. In late May, I had a strong sense of wanting to withdraw. The project still hadn’t launched, but I knew I couldn’t just walk away and leave them in the lurch.

The next day, I got an email from the man who recommended me for the project. He wanted to introduce me, electronically, to a colleague. “I was thinking that if you need a hand with the project or just want some relief, she’d be a great partner.” Wow, I thought. The universe was

Shame and wholehearted living

In The Gifts of Imperfection, shame researcher Dr. Brene Brown says there are 3 things we need to know about shame. Everybody has it [except those with no capacity for empathy or connection]. We’re all afraid to talk about it. And the less we talk about it, the more control we give it in our lives. She’s right, of course, and fortunately, she’s talking about it in ways that give the rest of us permission to do the same.

So if you want to trade your own struggles with shame for what Brene calls “a wholehearted life,” then buy or borrow this book. It’s anchored in cultivating courage, compassion, and connection, not as lofty ideals but as

Kindness

My son Michael called this morning on his way to work. “Something just happened that I thought you’d enjoy,” he said. “I stopped at Starbucks on my way to work, and when I got to the drive-thru window, the cashier told me the guy ahead of me already paid for my coffee!”

“Wow!” I said. “You’re right. I love it!”

“So I paid for the guy behind ME.” That’s when the cashier told him that he was

Improvise

 

I’m an avid fan of the cable television program Inside the Actors Studio. Each week, James Lipton, dean emeritus of New York’s Actors Studio Drama School at Pace University, interviews a famous actor or director. I love the passion with which these artists talk about their craft and the courage with which they tackle their fears and doubt. Yes, they are famous, but they are still mortals wrestling with the same insecurities as the rest of us. And the lessons they offer give a glimpse of the greatness in each of us that lies just beyond our doubt.

When Lipton interviewed Dustin Hoffman, the actor talked about the difficulty of

The way out is in

I recently got an email asking for an update on a coaching client, a woman I’ve worked with for about 3 months. Typically, I submit a list of coaching goals early in an engagement. But just a few days before this request arrived, I realized that the client and I hadn’t finalized any goals. So when the request came, I felt badly for letting this slip through the cracks. I began drafting a response. I tried to explain why the goals weren’t done. It was tough because I couldn’t violate the client’s confidential privilege, and I couldn’t adequately explain without providing details. I’d write and delete, write and delete. Then it hit me: the struggle wasn’t my desire to protect the client; it was my desire to protect me!

I had to laugh at myself. All the time I spent trying to craft a response boiled down to a simple truth:

Monkey bar beliefs

I went to the gym today for my usual workout.  The gym was closed last week while the owner and personal trainers completely reconfigured it. When I arrived today, it was substantially different. One of the changes was the addition of a set of monkey bars, suspended from the ceiling about 8 feet off the ground.

I kept looking at them during the first half of my workout. As a kid, I’d tried countless times to

Toads and transformation

I was coaching a senior executive who was second-in-command in a large organization but acted like low person on the totem.  It was costing her greatly in terms of credibility, effectiveness, and self esteem.

One day when she was struggling particularly hard, I told her this story.  A few days earlier, my son Michael and I were weeding my mother’s garden. Michael was working under some shrubs when he grabbed my arm and said, “Hey, Mom, look!”

All I saw was dirt and dead leaves.